Marriage

God's design and calling for you as a wife
This material appears courtesy of Covenant Keepers

Yet, submission is much more than just an attitude, it also produces powerful action. Your submission is what renders a death blow to selfishness. Paul declared, "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God" (Eph. 5:21 KJV). The word submit means to subdue. But, what are you to subdue? Yourself! Self or selfishness is the greatest problem we face in loving and respecting others, especially a spouse. Submission is what destroys selfishness and enables you to give in a way that will bring harmony with your mate. If you refuse to deny yourself through submission, conflict will result in every part of your relationship. James declares that "where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing will be there" (James 3:16). If there is confusion and conflict in your marriage, selfishness will be the cause of the problem every time. Therefore, learning to subdue selfishness through submission is the key to dealing with every evil habit within your marriage. Similarly, submission means that you must be willing to subdue your desires to rule over and control your husband. God has given him the position as the head and leader within the family. Paul said, "For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church" (Eph. 5:23). This means that he is the one who has the ultimate responsibility for your family before God. The Father requires him to take the leadership role in the family and God will hold him accountable for this responsibility. Now, why would God give the leadership of the family to the man? Doesn't that mean that the wife is inferior to her husband? No, absolutely not! God has not given your husband this position as head of the home because he is superior to you. Remember, you are equal to him in every way. God has only given him this position to bring order and harmony to your marriage and to keep you both from entering into a power struggle for control. Imagine for a moment what your life would be like if you had two heads on your physical body. What confusion this would bring to your life. Likewise, when you selfishly try to become the second head in your home, confusion results, and your marriage loses. A power struggle such as this has no winners, and in a marriage this battle will only bring misery. Instead of seeking control, help him in his decisions and offer your input. Seek to understand your husband, and be a godly example of a woman of strength. If you truly desire harmony in your relationship, abandonment of your selfish desire to control your husband is a must.

• Be a helper
  
• Be a virtuous wife
  
• Be a prudent wife
  
• Be a submissive wife
  
• Be a companion