Issues at Stake

Why Wait for Sex? continued...
This material appears courtesy of Silent Voices

Why is this? Because He wants to protect us! God knows that the safest place for sex to be experienced is in a stable, committed, loving relationship - marriage. Sex outside of this relationship puts us at risk for things He never wanted us to have to face - like STDs, unplanned pregnancies, and abortion. Choosing not to have sex before marriage pleases the heart of God - and protects us!

So - how do abstain when "everyone else is doing it?" The first thing you must do is purpose in your heart that you won't have sex outside of marriage. This means that you promise yourself - and God - that you will not have sex until - or unless - you're married.

Then you need to set boundaries for yourself and your relationships. Sex doesn't "just happen." There are things that lead up to having sex - identify those things, and know your limits. Can you hold hands without becoming sexually aroused? Then hold hands! Can you kiss and not be aroused? Then kiss! Can you touch and fondle your partner? Unlikely! If you're in a private place - and you're alone - "making out" will most likely lead to sex, especially if you've already been sexually active. If you've already been sexually active, or have come very close to having intercourse, you may need to limit your dating to public places or group activities. It's a lot harder to have sex when you're in a group of people at the mall than when you're in the backseat of your car on "lover's lane!"

You also need to think about your partner - what are his/her limits? It's a fact that men are sexually aroused much more quickly than women. What a woman can do without "crossing the line" is likely to be much more than what a man can do. If you are the woman in the relationship, be aware that while you can "kiss and touch" and not want any more, he will probably have stronger urges and desires, and it's risky to push him beyond his limits and then expect him to stop.

For those of you who have already had sex - and who think it's "too late" - think again! You can choose - now - to wait. You can commit yourself - now - to abstinence. You can develop a new sense of self-respect. You can give your heart time to heal from sexual relationships that may have left you feeling used, rejected and betrayed. You can begin preparing yourself for that one person who will want to spend the rest of his/her life with you.

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