Parenting

Foster Care and Adoption: Big Bucks or Huge Reward?
This material appears courtesy of Christian Broadcasting Network

One of the reasons Americans may have smaller families is because kids may be too expensive. According to government statistics, an average middle-income family will spend over $160,000 to raise one child born in 1999. If you have a big family, that means big bucks.

But there may be other reasons why adopting more kids sounds impractical. "Some parents who are more giving people can handle a house full of kids," one man told The 700 Club. "I’m still young. I like to play and do things, too. I guess I’m selfish. I’m sorry for feeling that way."

Not half as sorry as kids are to hear that. There are more than half a million kids nationwide in the foster care system alone that need parents. Richard Burnett, of the Texas Department of Child Protective Services, confirms that finding willing parents is a real challenge in his profession.

"I think some of the frustrations are the lack of homes and the lack of resources," he says. "Looking for the right families -- you can either foster or adopt -- they are a very special family. It’s not like raising your birth children. It’s a whole different type of family."

On top of that, consider the number of unplanned pregnancies each year that result in a child needing an adoptive home, and it becomes apparent we have a mommy and daddy shortage. So why would a family want to adopt kids? After all, they are so expensive and time consuming.

Karen Elseroad of Bethany Christian Services, a private adoption agency, says adoption is one way to build a family if you don’t have one. She also says it's a moral responsibility, especially for the Christian community.

Karen says, "God calls us to think of others, prefer others, and to be servants. And it provides an outlet for persons to reach out to others and minister to others needs. Of course, the Bible says true religion is taking care of the widows and the orphans, so what better way to manifest the love and compassion of Jesus Christ than to reach out to someone that needs a mother and father, needs a stable loving home. Adoption contributes to our community in many ways."

Experts also warn that in the case of foster parenting, just "good intentions" and a "warm and fuzzy" feeling won’t get the job done.

"All of these children have been seriously abused or neglected or they wouldn’t have come into the foster care system," says Burnett. "All of these children are dealing with issues of separation and separation anxiety. Many of them have learning disabilities; many have been impacted by drugs in the birth family. I think the statewide average is that close to 85 percent of the children come under foster care because of sexual abuse, so there are a lot of issues that regular parents don’t face."

Hearing issues like that definitely scares away a lot of potential parents from adopting. But if you are a little child in the foster care system in Shelby County, Texas, your chances of being adopted into a loving home are very promising.

Burnett says, "I’m guessing probably of those that are here presently in Shelby County, they are probably 55 to 60 [who have been adopted]."

And 49 of them are derived from the Bennett Chapel Church.

Pastor W.C. Martin and his wife, Donna, started something of an adoption explosion in their congregation three years. Donna says it started months after her own loving mother died and she just couldn’t get over the grief.

Donna recalls, "I said, 'God this is it. I just hurt so much and I’m just sad. I need to be happy. I need to be able to deal with the loss of my Mom, so either heal me or let me die. ' So, I heard a still voice say, 'Be quiet, sit down.' When I sat down, it said, 'Foster, adopt.' And it was like saying to me, 'All the things over the months that you told me that your mother meant to you, how the love she gave you, the security, how you could trust her, you could share your most intimate things or whatever you shared with her, she was there to meet your needs and she never pushed you aside. Mother just always made you feel better. OK, sit down, go back. Give to the children. Reach out of your hurt and give to those that didn’t have what you had in your mother. Foster, adopt."

With that, Pastor Martin and Donna went from being parents of two to being parents of six. Presently, thirty-some Bennett Chapel families have adopted 49 children from the foster care system, and more parents are completing their training to adopt a child.

According to Pastor Martin, close to 60 families will be parents of adopted children after the next month or so.

Martin attacks the issue of caring for these children with missionary zeal.

"We should be doing more than just preaching on Sunday morning and shouting. I think we should open up our hearts and reach out," says Pastor Martin. "This is the responsibility of the church. And the churches responsibility in doing this is to meet the needs of these children they would have never made it if someone had not reached out to them."

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