Marriage

Fighting Fair
This material appears courtesy of Covenant Keepers

You are unfair when you fail to respond equally.
If you are reading this newsletter and you are resistant to reconciliation, you must recognize that your behavior is very unfair to your mate. Your spouse is demonstrating the desire to reconcile and you are fighting it. I know you are probably thinking right now, But you don’t know how much I’ve been hurt. You have probably been very hurt, but don’t let your pride keep you from responding in an equal manner. If your spouse takes a step toward reconciliation, shouldn’t you do the same? If you continue to resist and harden yourself in your position, I can assure you that nothing will change for the better in your marriage. In fact, it will surely get worse.

Remember where we started this article? We looked at the charge that the people of God were making concerning the fairness of God in His dealings with them. They believed God was behaving unfairly toward them. How did God respond? He reminded them, "…is it not My ways which are fair, and your ways which are not fair?" (Ezekiel 18:29). What did God mean by this statement? He was the one who reached out to love and continually sought reconciliation with them. But, their response was to only make further charges. The people resisted His attempts and they walked away. The Father counted this as extremely unfair.

If all you can do is find fault and charge your spouse when he or she is seeking reconciliation, aren’t you too behaving unfairly? Just as the people of God failed to respond with equal love and willingness, you are failing to respond to your mate’s outstretched hand. Remember, it doesn’t require a lot of effort to shoot the darts of accusation and condemnation at your partner’s confession and repentance. However, it does require great effort to examine yourself and humbly confess your personal faults to your mate. Won’t you respond with equal effort? This would be fair, and it would give you a fair chance at healing your relationship. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain!

• How do we define what is fair?
  
• You are unfair when you are dishonest
  
• You are unfair when you hold on to things from the past
  
• You are unfair when you personally attack your spouse
  
• You are unfair when you fail to do what you require of your mate