Parenting

Fathers And Mothers - continued...
This material appears courtesy of Bridges for Peace
by Clarence H. Wagner, Jr.

The Role of the Husband/Father:
The father was the undisputed head of the household. While some may have been authoritarian despots, others were the compassionate anchor that held the family firmly together.

Discipline and respect were due the head of the household, the Hebrew word for husband being baal, or lord. He was responsible for overseeing spiritual matters for the family, for educating the children, teaching the sons a trade, administrating the business, buying and selling, and negotiating the marriage of his children. He was accorded more rights over his wife than she over him, e.g. he could choose to divorce, an option not accorded the wife (Dt. 24:1).

The New Testament (NT) teaches that wives are to submit to their husbands (Eph. 5:22). On the other hand, he tells husbands to love their wives as Christ has loved His Church (Eph. 5:25), and for fathers to avoid "provoking their children to wrath" (Eph. 6:4). All through the Bible, we see fathers displaying great love and caring for their families, e.g. Abraham and Isaac (Gen. 22:1-19), or the father waiting for his prodigal son to return home (Lk. 15).

In the NT, Jesus refers to God as Abba, our equivalent to Daddy or Papa, a obvious term of a close and loving relationship. The husband/father was the provider, and Timothy teaches that a neglectful father was worse than a pagan (I Tim. 5:8).

Surely, not all households were so harmonious and compatible. But, scriptural precepts, strong extended family relationships, and a family-oriented society gave every opportunity for one.

The Role of Women/Mothers:
Girls were trained to be wives and mothers, learning from the example of their own mothers. She trained up her daughters with the skills to run the household, and prepared them for their eventual role as wife and mother.

Mothers bore the children, nursed them, and raised them in their early years. She held the household together by performing a wide variety of tasks. Proverbs 31:10-31 gives us a good description of the honor accorded the mother of the house. She was far from docile and subservient, as she had to be quite bold to fulfill her role. "She is worth more than rubies... Her husband has full confidence in her... she works with eager hands... She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family... she considers a field and buys it... she plants a vineyard... barters in the market... prepares wool for weaving... helps the needy... she speaks with wisdom and is not idle...her children rise up to call her blessed and her husband praises her." Yet all was not so happy in families where husbands were deceased, or where husbands were abusive.

On the role of women in Israelite society, there is a paradox of scriptural precepts that protect the rights of women, and emphasize their equality and worth, while there are others that emphasize the strong male dominance of the society.

Some of the positive attributes of Israelite society for women can be seen throughout Scripture. Starting in Genesis, we can see that the creation of woman was not an after thought, but that both men and women were both created in the image of God (Gen. 1:26-27). Without Eve, Adam was not complete.

Scripture commands us to honor our mother and father, not just father. And, when a couple was caught in adultery, both male and female were to be stoned to death (Dt. 22:22). Throughout the Gospels, we see women involved with the ministry of Jesus, e.g. the four Marys and Martha, and in the Acts and Epistles, women took an active role in early Christianity, e.g. Dorcas, Lydia, etc.

Throughout Israelite history, women played key roles, from Jochebed who devised a plan to save her son Moses (Ex. 2), to Miriam, who ranked second in command with Aaron under Moses and later led a rebellion against her brother. Hannah made a covenant with God on her own for a child (I Sam. 1:1-25), and became the mother of Samuel. Later, we see Deborah as the judge who helped lead the army of Israel to victory (Jdg. 4:6-9), and Esther, who became the Queen of Persia, being used of God to spare the Jewish people. Even in matters of faith, we find Hulda, the prophetess, called upon to prophesy during the reign of Josaiah (II Kgs. 22:14-20). Sarah and Rahab are listed in the chapter on great characters of faith in Hebrews 11.

On the other hand, Israel was definitely a patriarchal society. Under the law, only men could own property, and a daughter could only receive an inheritance if there were no sons (Num. 27:8). If a man died, his wife would not inherit his estate. A woman was expected to prove her virginity (Dt. 22:20-21). If a woman failed to have a child, it was assumed that she was the problem and her barrenness was a judgment of God (Gen. 30:1-2,22). If a wife committed adultery, her husband could bring charges against her (Num. 5:12), but it appears that the reverse was not the case. Likewise, if the husband chose to divorce his wife, he could do so (Dt. 24:1), and again the reverse was not possible. A wife could keep a promise or vow, only if her husband approved.

Women were not encouraged to seek education outside the home and daughters did not go to school. And, a woman's life was considered to have half the monetary value of a man's (Lev. 27:1-8). And, women were barred from the priesthood.

Despite this, one must consider the example in Scripture and reconsider Proverbs 31:10-31, to see that the role of women in family and society was hardly benign, but to actively participate, along with her husband, in securing the best for her family, household and community.

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