Marriage

Developing Effective Communication
This material appears courtesy of Covenant Keepers

Give Up Your Excuses
If you are truly willing to allow God to improve your ability to communicate, first you must give up any excuses you have established in your mind. An excuse is any reason you use to evade your responsibility to communicate with your spouse.

What are some of these excuses? Some have said to me, "It’s my parents’ fault that I don’t communicate. I never had a good example in my family as I was growing up." Usually people think this is an excellent excuse. However, I remind them that they do have a good example now, Jesus Christ. He is the best example that anyone could have of an effective communicator (John 13:15).

Or, people will tell me, "It’s my spouse’s fault for the way I communicate. If he or she wouldn’t be so _____ I wouldn’t respond the way I do." But, this is simply not taking personal responsibility for your own actions. It is shifting the blame to someone else.

Let me give you an example of the ultimate excuse and God’s ultimate solution. Moses possessed a seemingly legitimate excuse for his unwillingness to speak for God. He complained, "O my Lord, I am not eloquent, .... but I am slow of speech and slow of tongue." (Ex. 4:10). It appears that Moses had great insecurity about his ability to talk because of some kind of speech impediment. However, the most important question is, did the Lord accept his speech problem as a valid excuse? No! God responded by asking Moses, "Who has made man's mouth? …Therefore, go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall say" (Ex. 4:11-12). God’s answer to Moses was to give him a promise that He would help him and teach him what he should say. Did the Lord keep His promise? All you have to do is read the books of Exodus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy to see how well Moses did as he spoke to the people.

Therefore, give up your excuses! Instead, start asking God for His help and instruction concerning how to become a better communicator. God will be with your mouth as He was with Moses.

• Are You Willing?
  
• Acknowledge Your Failures
  
• Make Time
  
• Reduce Your Distractions
  
• Dates and Recreation
  
• Prayer Together
  
• Meaningful Content
  
• Be More Encouraging
  
• Make Christ Your Example

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